Self-awareness is super important for leaders, according to the authors of How To Become a Better Leader. If you don’t know your strengths and weaknesses, leading others can be tough.
But sometimes, being too aware of yourself can mess things up. It’s like self-sabotage.
As a business owner, you probably have this annoying voice inside your head – your inner critic. It’s always there, telling you stuff like you’re not good enough, or you don’t deserve success.
If this voice has been making you doubt yourself, overthink stuff, or hold back when you should be moving forward, don’t worry. You’re not alone.
Getting rid of this inner critic can be hard, but it’s doable.
Let’s break down what this inner voice is all about and how you can stop it from holding you back.
Understanding the Inner Critic: Where Does It Come From?
Why Do We Have That Mean Voice Inside Our Heads?
Believe it or not, our early ancestors might be to blame for this. Back then, thinking the worst helped them survive.
A business coach named Shirzad Chamine talks about this in his popular book, Positive Intelligence.
He says, “Imagine you’re in the jungle and you see leaves shaking in a nearby tree. It’s safer to think you’re in big trouble, even if you don’t have much proof.” Basically, our ancestors assumed the worst to stay alive, even if they were wrong most of the time.
Chamine calls this inner critic our ‘Judge.’ It developed based on our need to survive. It’s not perfect, but it helped us make sense of our early experiences.
For example, Chamine didn’t get much attention from his family as a kid. Instead of realizing his parents weren’t perfect, he thought he must be the problem. It was easier to think he was flawed than to face the truth.
So, if we made our inner critics, we can also control them – or at least try to quiet them down.
The Implications for Business Owners
Unchecked, our inner critics wield tremendous influence over our lives, making them potentially perilous adversaries.
The Risk of Burnout for Business Owners
Business owners invest their hearts and souls into their ventures, driven by passion and dedication. However, this intense drive can sometimes trigger an inner critic that whispers doubts about perfectionism and high expectations.
If this inner voice constantly tells you that you’re not working hard enough or that your efforts aren’t up to par, you might end up pushing yourself too far. Working long hours and neglecting your well-being can become all too common.
Unfortunately, desired results often don’t come as easily as we’d like. Instead, we find ourselves grappling with stress, exhaustion, and ultimately, burnout.
Burnout wreaks havoc on our ability to focus, stay productive, and lead our businesses effectively. It creates a vicious cycle: the more burned out we feel, the louder our inner critic becomes, pushing us further into stress and exhaustion.
Decreased Value in Your Business
When your confidence in delivering top-notch products or services is shaken by negative self-talk, it doesn’t just affect your well-being—it hits your bottom line, too.
With your inner critic constantly highlighting your flaws and comparing you to others, you might end up undervaluing your offerings. You might charge less than what your products or services are truly worth. Additionally, these self-critical thoughts can hinder your marketing efforts and prevent you from reaching out to potential customers or clients, limiting your business growth opportunities.
While it’s crucial to stay competitive in your industry, it’s also important to maintain a healthy cash flow to keep your business thriving.
Navigating Choices: Making Smart Moves for Success
As a business owner, you face more uncertainty and risk compared to others in different roles. The decisions you make can either propel your business forward or hold it back. Unfortunately, this pressure creates an ideal environment for your inner critic to thrive.
If your inner critic has been chipping away at your confidence and planting seeds of doubt, you’re likely to overthink your options and doubt yourself. Instead of focusing on potential benefits from seizing new opportunities or trying innovative strategies, you’ll dwell on worst-case scenarios. This leads to indecision and hesitancy, both of which can hinder your success.
Negative thoughts can also distort reality, making situations seem more dire than they actually are. This might lead you to overreact or make decisions based on fear rather than logic.
Alternatively, your inner critic might take a more subtle approach, using a gentle, comforting tone to convince you that “things are fine as they are—why risk it?”
It may seem like the voice of reason, but don’t be fooled. This is still the voice of a saboteur, holding you back from stepping out of your comfort zone and achieving your full potential.
Whether it’s critical or comforting, this inner voice can significantly impact various aspects of your professional life, hindering your progress and preventing you from reaching your goals in business.
Fortunately, there are effective strategies to quiet that inner voice whenever it tries to speak up…
Three Approaches to Conquer Your Inner Critic
Dealing with our inner critic can pose a significant challenge, especially if we’ve grown accustomed to its relentless presence. However, mastering techniques to manage this critical voice is essential to prevent it from hindering our progress and success.
Differentiation
Our inner critics can really bring us down. They’re so convincing that we often believe their harsh words are our own thoughts.
But here’s the important thing to remember: your inner critic isn’t the real you. It’s just a voice fueled by fear and insecurity.
The good news is, you can take back control. Experts say the first step is to be mindful of when that critical voice shows up. When you notice it, separate it from your own thoughts.
Shirzad Chamine, an expert, says, “Inner critics do more harm when they pretend to be your friend or even you. But if you notice and name them, they lose their power.” So, instead of saying, “I can’t do this,” remind yourself, “That’s just my inner critic talking.”
By recognizing and labeling your inner critic, you can weaken its grip and start believing in yourself again. Remember, you’re capable of more than you think!
Crafting a Job Description
If you’re struggling to tell the difference between your inner critic and your true self, here’s a helpful technique: treat your inner critic like an employee and list out all its responsibilities.
Just like you would for a job ad or an employee review, jot down everything your inner critic does in its ‘role’. For instance:
-Keeps you in your comfort zone, even if it means staying stagnant.
-Quickly points out all the potential problems whenever you want to try something new.
-Acts as a shield against any compliments or encouragement you receive.
-Maintains a detailed record of all your flaws.
-Sends timely reminders to compare yourself to others.
Seeing these responsibilities written down can give you a fresh perspective. If your inner critic were a real employee, would you want to keep them around? These attitudes don’t help businesses grow and succeed.
So, whenever your ’employee’ tries to bring you down, remember that their goals are different from yours. Listening to their ‘advice’ will only hold you and your business back.
Assertive Response
When we hear criticism, it’s hard not to let it affect us. After all, we’ve probably been hearing it for years – maybe our whole lives – and it’s hard to ignore.
But just like in any conversation, we have the power to choose how we respond.
Think of your inner critic like a school bully. If you don’t stand up to it, it’ll just keep picking on you. So, it’s time to change the script and make this a two-way conversation.
For example, let’s say you’re at a networking event. It’s a chance to meet other people in your industry and make valuable connections. But your inner critic says, “Everyone here is smarter and more successful than you. Why bother?” Or, “No one cares about what you have to say. You should just stay quiet.”
Counter these negative thoughts with more realistic ones. Does your inner critic have any proof? Probably not. In reality, there’s likely plenty of evidence that proves them wrong.
You can also try imagining someone saying these things about a friend. How would you respond then?
The key is not to let your inner critic silence you. Stand up to it and keep moving forward. You’ve got this!
Summing It Up: The Key Takeaway
As business owners, our inner critics can be some of the toughest adversaries we face on our path to success.
This critical inner voice can fuel feelings of anxiety, self-doubt, and fear, draining our motivation and holding us back from taking risks. Instead of pushing forward in the face of challenges, these negative thoughts tell us to throw in the towel.
Moreover, it becomes incredibly challenging to take the necessary steps to achieve greatness when our inner critic keeps us trapped in a cycle of excuses and procrastination.
But here’s the thing: you shouldn’t believe everything your inner critic tells you! It’s vital to recognize these thoughts for what they are and actively work against them to unlock your full potential.
While ignoring them isn’t always easy, with the right strategies, you can diminish their power and reclaim your self-confidence.
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